Thursday, May 22, 2014

One wheel be skidding

Do you ever get that one cart in the whole grocery store that have the wheel that be wiggling? It be skidding all down the aisles as you try to hurry and grab the essentials of mayo, wet wipes and some asparagus. Lately, that has been my ability to form a complete thought when I am with strangers. Call it all the change we've gone through the last three years or my introvertedness coming out, but it's got to stop.

This move has felt challenging to have the restart button hit again for the third time in three years because frankly I'm sick of starting over. I need some stability. I need some good friends that I can see during the week and not have to travel out to the burbs or all over the USA to see. On the other hand,  I already have so many friends and siblings that I wish I got to see more or still lived near, it's hard for me to invest in someone else. It's hard to always have to small talk, as Nacho Libre would say,

Anywho, the other night I was out to coffee with the campus coordinator at our new church (that we love!) and was making a real fool of myself small talking. After all these moves and networking events, you'd think I'd be better at this but the stress of the day was getting to me. She was asking me normal questions but I couldn't even form a complete sentence.

"You grow up in a Christian family?"

(Everyone in my family is a Christian
 been going to church since I was a baby
 Some of my siblings are missionaries or small group leaders
 but I mean my family wasn't perfect
I miss my family
I wish I saw them more
I wonder how much that plane ticket would be if I tried to fly there soon?
Crap, I still haven't answered her)

"Yes… er… yeah… um… you?"

She be like:! I just couldn't figure out what to say. I couldn't figure out a good answer that wasn't telling too much for a first meeting or was way too long! I'm sure she didn't notice this as much as I did, I mean I hope she didn't but seriously hoping I can be a normal person the next time I meet someone! Because all this stuttering and word stumbling has got to stop. I mean

1 comment:

Leighann said...

Ain't nobody got time for that… nope. But I feel ya, sister. Too busy to make friends and lonely enough to want them. Same boat. Word.